Marriage and Money:
Put Financial Considerations First When Love is in the Air
Summer is the season of romance and weddings and of dreaming and planning for fabulous parties, evenings under tents, beaming brides and smiling guests. Before you say "I do," though, consider this reality of marriage: you are not only joining together in love, you are joining two financial lives, as well. So, talk marriage and money early on…not just marriage for a real chance at true love's bliss.
"Like it or not, people bring financial baggage into a relationship. Perhaps it comes in the form of a poor credit rating, significant debt, or no experience managing money," said Sara Light, a GreenPath financial counselor. "Addressing money differences up front can help couples avoid a lot of trouble later."
GreenPath, recommends the following "Do's and Don'ts" for those first financial conversations:
- Don't approach the subject in the heat of battle. Instead, set aside a time that is convenient and non-threatening for both parties.
- Do make it a casual conversation about a serious subject, respecting the fact that each person has valid opinions and concerns.
- Do probe to understand long-held financial attitudes, often present since childhood and ingrained by observing how parents addressed money issues.
- Do acknowledge that one may be a saver and one a spender, understanding that there are benefits to both and agreeing to learn from each other's tendencies.
- Do bring financial documents, including a recent credit report, pay stubs, bank statements, insurance policies, and investments to the table.
- Do construct a joint budget that includes savings. Even though the combined income may increase, expenses may follow suit.
- Do decide which person will be responsible for paying the monthly bills. It is likely that one person will be a better fit for this task than the other.
- Do set aside discretionary money for each of you to use as you wish.
- Do determine short-term and long-term family and individual goals.
- Do talk about whether or not loaning money to family members is acceptable.
- Do talk about caring - physically and financially - for your parents as they age.
Court records show that financial stress is one of the main causes of divorce and, for that reason, it should be taken very seriously. If you or anyone you know is thinking about this kind of "financial merger," GreenPath counselors are available to help with the important task of bringing two incomes, two lifestyles and two financial attitudes together. Talk to a GreenPath counselor today. Counseling is free of charge.